Only in my dreams
by justloveandhate
Summary: Fiona has dreams every night of someone who everyone thinks is fake, and just someone she saw on the street. Her friends and family think she's crazy and just upset because her parents where killed. Fiona deeply believes that he is real, she will stop at nothing to find him. Rated T for use of language, R&R! Self harm, use of drugs and alcohol are included in this story.


This idea popped into my head while I was asleep, I wanted to share cause sharing is caring! I hope you enjoy, I'm not telling you who I'm shipping because it's a secret. Haha! I'm so evil! Anyway, on with the story!

Only in dreams chapter one

I open my eyes, a dream again, same one I've been having lately. I run my hand slowly down my face until I touch my lips. I could have sworn I was being kissed passionately by a well known stranger.

That was only in my dreams. I quickly goes over her dream, making sure it wasn't reality. He has to be real, he just has to. I through my hand over to my nightstand and grab my pair of scissors.

He's real, I know it. I slowly open it and run it over my wrist, I don't stop until it bleeds. The cut isn't bad, just like all the other ones I have on my wrists. If he was real, he would stop me.

I look over at what I've done, being in the darkness doesn't help much. I let small years fall, I know him so well yet never met him. I can feel my confusion boiling inside me again. I'm going to scream again.

I open my mouth, then shut it. Then open it again, a loud blood curdling scream comes from my mouth. It's not me, it's him. He's causing my pain and suffering.

Scientists and shrinks told me that the brain can't make up faces and I would've had to see his face somewhere. At least once, maybe twice.

My sister, Cake runs into my room, she's my legal guardian and has been since my parents died. The shrinks say I'm like this because of the tragic death of my parents.

Cake runs into my room and turns on the light, I vomit. I wipe my mouth off with my bloody wrist, Cake catches a glimpse of it.

"Fiona, what's wrong?" Cake asks sadly. I can't answer if I do it will take away our trust. Not the trust between me and Cake, but the trust between me and him. I look directly in front of me.

"Baby cakes, is this about-" I don't let her finish. I put my hand over her mouth. Saying his name makes it worse, it makes everything worse. She pats my back and helps me off my bed.

"The home will accept you, you just have to accept it." She says assuringly. That's not a home. It's a ward for "people like me" as all the shrinks say. She helps me walk into the living room, which is down stairs. I tripped myself on purpose, I need to feel pain.

"He's real." I say dryly. My voice hurts and I hate speaking. Unless it's to him. In my dreams were perfect together. He's my best friend.

"Yeah, you must have seen him-" I glare at her, making her shut up.

"HE IS REAL!" I yell as I stumble down the stairs, I almost lose my footing, but continue for the kitchen.

Tonight was an empty dream, it's always worse with an empty dream. He wasn't there. He hasn't been there for two days now. Where is he? Where is he?!

"Where are you?!" I scream as I run to the knife holder. I pull out a steak knife and hold it above my stomach. No one knows how I feel. The guy of my dreams is not always in my dreams. That makes it a whole lot worse.

I see Cake in tears, my vision is blurred, I still feel the knife in my hands, not yet touching my skin. Instead I hold onto the blade, cutting my fingers. I need him more then he knows, he IS real. He has to be...

Cake immediately runs to me and takes the knife from my hands. She covers my hands in paper towels and I just fall on the floor, not caring for the stinging pain.

If only he was here. Cake picks me up, I'm too bummed to fight back. He wasn't there, the one night I needed him most and he wasn't there.

Cake carries me to the car and puts me in the back seat. I just lay there, I must look dead or something. I look out the window and see little rain drops. That's what my little hand held mirror looked like.

Cake looks at me in the rear view mirror, probably worried or something.

"Is this purely about- your-" she tries to think of the right words.

"This isn't about LSP?" She asks not taking her eyes off the road. Must I be reminded? Earlier today LSP and I drank. I had a beer he had multiple beers and wine coolers.

Stuff happened and I wasn't into it at all. I keep my eyes open, knowing closing them would make me picture him. I can't, I've been told over and over again that he wasn't real. He is, and one day, I will prove it.


End file.
